just to let my minimal readers know it'll probs be a while b4 i write a new blog for this was really just to remember stuff for my media film; but i have come up with a newer, more doable, some would say a better idea :) so until i "cbf" the 'c' standing for can!,
goodbye
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Friday, November 27, 2009
Things I wish I could say
No, I do not know if our food products support child slavery. Can't you just pick a movie or leave?
You're hiring children movies along with porn.....just leave.
You're too old and crabby to watch that movie without finding it overly offensive.
I feel like I'm getting crabs just looking at you.
Why are you leaning on my bench? Remove yourself from my personal space.
No, I do not care that you've seen every movie. That's simply not possible.
Don't touch that...jackass
Oh you want to hand in a resume? well don't count on a response.
It's 8.29. F*ck off i want to go home. There's no way you'll be done in 60 seconds.
It's been 45 minutes. Pick something or get out.
Don't look at me; pick a film!
Shut the funk up. We both know that fine is yours!
Sir, you're stinking up the entire store. Your body odour is overpowering the scent of the dead pigeons. Please leave.
Do you really need that much porn?
8 overnight`ers? really? you won't finish all of them. you're not going to make it!
Oh yeah. Keep squeeking that rubber chicken. that never gets annoying.
Sure, I have nothing better to do then follow you around the store looking for a movie you havn't seen and that is half decent.
Please refrain from reaaranging the order of the dvds. Along comes Polly as much as it's hard to believe doesn't go with Back Door Sluts 9.
Renting Mean Girls? I respect you.
No, I am not your buddy. Find another friend.
Yeah thanks, leave your coke bottle there. This is a trash dump after all and I live to pick up after you..
I look at you, and I look at your girlfriend. Either she's cheating on you or you're GREAT in bed.
Your jokes aren't funny and aren't appreciated at the front desk, thankyou.
Leave. Just, leave.
You're hiring children movies along with porn.....just leave.
You're too old and crabby to watch that movie without finding it overly offensive.
I feel like I'm getting crabs just looking at you.
Why are you leaning on my bench? Remove yourself from my personal space.
No, I do not care that you've seen every movie. That's simply not possible.
Don't touch that...jackass
Oh you want to hand in a resume? well don't count on a response.
It's 8.29. F*ck off i want to go home. There's no way you'll be done in 60 seconds.
It's been 45 minutes. Pick something or get out.
Don't look at me; pick a film!
Shut the funk up. We both know that fine is yours!
Sir, you're stinking up the entire store. Your body odour is overpowering the scent of the dead pigeons. Please leave.
Do you really need that much porn?
8 overnight`ers? really? you won't finish all of them. you're not going to make it!
Oh yeah. Keep squeeking that rubber chicken. that never gets annoying.
Sure, I have nothing better to do then follow you around the store looking for a movie you havn't seen and that is half decent.
Please refrain from reaaranging the order of the dvds. Along comes Polly as much as it's hard to believe doesn't go with Back Door Sluts 9.
Renting Mean Girls? I respect you.
No, I am not your buddy. Find another friend.
Yeah thanks, leave your coke bottle there. This is a trash dump after all and I live to pick up after you..
I look at you, and I look at your girlfriend. Either she's cheating on you or you're GREAT in bed.
Your jokes aren't funny and aren't appreciated at the front desk, thankyou.
Leave. Just, leave.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
woof woof
So i worked last night
some lady came in, again a regular. this woman seems to think i don't realise her avoiding her fines. whenever she's hiring something she never has a card, meh, so i type in her last night, select the one that is her, has about $12 in fines, meh not much to pay right? oh no, she then makes me go onto her other family members accounts. One of these days im just going to refuse and get her to pay her bloody fine! She was even more annoying last night however. Not because she constantly asks me for good new comedys, which is impossible to tell her one because she's seen all of them! seriously lady get a life. No. yesturday she brought along her dog. her little. yappy. dog. that howls when its left alone. and of course she ditches the dog for a decent 20 mins.
It was quite hot last night. I enjoyed drinking a freshly cool bottle of water, eating slightly melted museily bars and standing infront of a rotating fan whilst i read the news on my phone. Man custemers are an inconvenience!
I learnt something new that night. the long plastic locks which prevent the disks from being stolen can actually connect together. not very well but still. theres one way of spending an hour wisely.
Last night some guys tried to hire some movies whilst i was closing. I told them i'd already turned off the computer. i lied. MLIA
Creepy old man came in. sure he called me darling but he didnt hit on me! success, i think my evil starring him down has finally worked!
one more thing, why are people so stupid? There's a giant sign hanging in the store that reads "$1 Tuesday's and Thursdays". it seems that's a lil too hard to understand
So whats the deal today
- everythings a dollar
Ok so everythings a dollar?
- yes, everythings a dollar
are there any deals like weeklys
- yes, everythings a dollar
are there any deals like 5 for $4?
- usually yes, but today everything is a dollar
seriously ppl!
some lady came in, again a regular. this woman seems to think i don't realise her avoiding her fines. whenever she's hiring something she never has a card, meh, so i type in her last night, select the one that is her, has about $12 in fines, meh not much to pay right? oh no, she then makes me go onto her other family members accounts. One of these days im just going to refuse and get her to pay her bloody fine! She was even more annoying last night however. Not because she constantly asks me for good new comedys, which is impossible to tell her one because she's seen all of them! seriously lady get a life. No. yesturday she brought along her dog. her little. yappy. dog. that howls when its left alone. and of course she ditches the dog for a decent 20 mins.
It was quite hot last night. I enjoyed drinking a freshly cool bottle of water, eating slightly melted museily bars and standing infront of a rotating fan whilst i read the news on my phone. Man custemers are an inconvenience!
I learnt something new that night. the long plastic locks which prevent the disks from being stolen can actually connect together. not very well but still. theres one way of spending an hour wisely.
Last night some guys tried to hire some movies whilst i was closing. I told them i'd already turned off the computer. i lied. MLIA
Creepy old man came in. sure he called me darling but he didnt hit on me! success, i think my evil starring him down has finally worked!
one more thing, why are people so stupid? There's a giant sign hanging in the store that reads "$1 Tuesday's and Thursdays". it seems that's a lil too hard to understand
So whats the deal today
- everythings a dollar
Ok so everythings a dollar?
- yes, everythings a dollar
are there any deals like weeklys
- yes, everythings a dollar
are there any deals like 5 for $4?
- usually yes, but today everything is a dollar
seriously ppl!
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
just a thought
So basically the whole point of this blog is actually to have documented all the crap which happens with my work/vid store so i can remember what to add in my media film next year
so here's a bit for me to remember: when i have the creepy old man renting hard core porn (have i mentioned this man yet? well he's creepy like the guy who hits on me) one of the pornos will be called "that's what she said"
so here's a bit for me to remember: when i have the creepy old man renting hard core porn (have i mentioned this man yet? well he's creepy like the guy who hits on me) one of the pornos will be called "that's what she said"
Monday, November 2, 2009
oh please
My wish is that the next time I work it gets really busy, "you make my dreams come true" by hall and oates comes on and the entire store starts a highly choreographed dance
People are stupid
Being a general video store; which btw I am very glad they're still called that. I for one still watch a couple videos here and there, and blank videos come in handy when I'm going out and need to record that very important episode of Home and Away. I was stared down at with open mouths when I revealed to my Hospitality class that I do still record shows on video. Im sorry if my style is too 'old school' for some, but truth be told I have no flippin` idea how to record on DVD. I thought I did. I thought I had a collection of movies saved to DVD, only to find out later when I tried to watch one that I had infact just recorded hours of a black screen. I guess they'll be no Titanic for me tonight. But it's ok, i still have my always reliable VCR to record my every want.
So wait back to what i was actually saying: Being a general video store, the main one in my area, and having such ridiculously good deals (the all famous $1 Tuesdays and Thursdays) we tend to get the same customers. Well I do anyway.
-There's the couple that come in, chat for about 20 mins, then leave without even looking at the films which surround them.
-The old man who at first glance you think he'll rent an old romance or classic action flick. Oh no, he enjoys hard core porn and shows no shame when renting such explicit material from a young girl.
-Next is one of my favourite customers. I actually look foward to his presence. A nice gay fellow who complements my necklaces and will occasionally give me a 10c
-This is my least favourite regular. An old Europian man, from my experience here's a helpful tip from me to you; always be cautious when an old man enters the video store. So anyway, there is this old man who think's it's ok to hit on me. His exact words would be "would you like to come back to my home country for coffee. My wife has died". Others who work at the video store have tried to warn me of this man. You see on every members account you can tag them, for example to write if they have many fines. On this man's account it reads "VERY DIRTY OLD MAN. WATCH OUT". oh if only i had seen that sooner.
Amongst other regulars I get a lot of the same kind of people. The very large woman of italian decent trying to avoid their $16 fines. Come on people its $16, just pay it! how povo can you be! and they always give the worst excuses. The machine will not let you hire unless the fines are all paid, so there is no way in hell that you have already paid them and then re-rented. You people make me sick.
I get a lot of young boys attempting to hire MA and R rated horros. Let me tell you something. If you look like a little bastard there is no way im going to look the other way and let you hire that. How stupid do some kids think I am. Lesson of the day, if you're underage you damn well look underage so don't try to give me this "im 18" bullshit, you look like you belong in primary school.
Something I do not appriciate is when customers think that i can read their minds. "I'm looking for a movie - I don't know what it's called.." well that is not helpful!
People are stupid.
"If I tell you the name of an actor can you give me a list of what movies they're in"
"Do I have to come into the store to rehire my movie"
"What deals do you have on today?
- everything today's a dollar
So everything's a dollar?
- yes, every movie today is a dollar
Are the new releases a dollar?
- ... yes, EVERthing's a dollar
So this overnight is a dollar
- ...."
Am I crazy to think everyone know's how a video store works? or that people are smart enough to find their way around a video store? clearly im thinking too much of people. One Thursday a man and his son came in. Clearly new to the area for they asked to sign up. fair enough. They needed some help with the form. fair enough. They needed to be taught how a video store works. umm. I had to give them a tour of the store. ughh
My Video Store is different to other's. One it has the oldest computer system left on this planet. Don't believe me? The screen is green and black, there is no mouse, everything's done through the keyboard, and everythings saved to floppy disk. It not only rents out movies, but it also sells toys, perfume, stickers, and signed memorabilia. It used to sell incense and clothes. There's a bed in the back, when you flush the toilet water runs down the walls and there are the corniest ads known to man played within the background music. It's also the only video store i know not to have a TV / a movie playing within the store. Also if you wander down the comedy aisle you'll endure the pleasant scent of dead pigeon.
You'd think all shops these days have fool proof security for the cash? oh no. all profits are tucked safely each night in a locked bin which is kept casually underneath the counter. Right beside the key that opens the till. Genious.
Why is this place not out of business yet.
So wait back to what i was actually saying: Being a general video store, the main one in my area, and having such ridiculously good deals (the all famous $1 Tuesdays and Thursdays) we tend to get the same customers. Well I do anyway.
-There's the couple that come in, chat for about 20 mins, then leave without even looking at the films which surround them.
-The old man who at first glance you think he'll rent an old romance or classic action flick. Oh no, he enjoys hard core porn and shows no shame when renting such explicit material from a young girl.
-Next is one of my favourite customers. I actually look foward to his presence. A nice gay fellow who complements my necklaces and will occasionally give me a 10c
-This is my least favourite regular. An old Europian man, from my experience here's a helpful tip from me to you; always be cautious when an old man enters the video store. So anyway, there is this old man who think's it's ok to hit on me. His exact words would be "would you like to come back to my home country for coffee. My wife has died". Others who work at the video store have tried to warn me of this man. You see on every members account you can tag them, for example to write if they have many fines. On this man's account it reads "VERY DIRTY OLD MAN. WATCH OUT". oh if only i had seen that sooner.
Amongst other regulars I get a lot of the same kind of people. The very large woman of italian decent trying to avoid their $16 fines. Come on people its $16, just pay it! how povo can you be! and they always give the worst excuses. The machine will not let you hire unless the fines are all paid, so there is no way in hell that you have already paid them and then re-rented. You people make me sick.
I get a lot of young boys attempting to hire MA and R rated horros. Let me tell you something. If you look like a little bastard there is no way im going to look the other way and let you hire that. How stupid do some kids think I am. Lesson of the day, if you're underage you damn well look underage so don't try to give me this "im 18" bullshit, you look like you belong in primary school.
Something I do not appriciate is when customers think that i can read their minds. "I'm looking for a movie - I don't know what it's called.." well that is not helpful!
People are stupid.
"If I tell you the name of an actor can you give me a list of what movies they're in"
"Do I have to come into the store to rehire my movie"
"What deals do you have on today?
- everything today's a dollar
So everything's a dollar?
- yes, every movie today is a dollar
Are the new releases a dollar?
- ... yes, EVERthing's a dollar
So this overnight is a dollar
- ...."
Am I crazy to think everyone know's how a video store works? or that people are smart enough to find their way around a video store? clearly im thinking too much of people. One Thursday a man and his son came in. Clearly new to the area for they asked to sign up. fair enough. They needed some help with the form. fair enough. They needed to be taught how a video store works. umm. I had to give them a tour of the store. ughh
My Video Store is different to other's. One it has the oldest computer system left on this planet. Don't believe me? The screen is green and black, there is no mouse, everything's done through the keyboard, and everythings saved to floppy disk. It not only rents out movies, but it also sells toys, perfume, stickers, and signed memorabilia. It used to sell incense and clothes. There's a bed in the back, when you flush the toilet water runs down the walls and there are the corniest ads known to man played within the background music. It's also the only video store i know not to have a TV / a movie playing within the store. Also if you wander down the comedy aisle you'll endure the pleasant scent of dead pigeon.
You'd think all shops these days have fool proof security for the cash? oh no. all profits are tucked safely each night in a locked bin which is kept casually underneath the counter. Right beside the key that opens the till. Genious.
Why is this place not out of business yet.
Introduction
Every Thursday of every week I'm at my local video store working alone for 4 hours. Every Thursday of every week I get the same disturbing regulars plus a few new ones, all who which want to take advantage of the $1 Thursday.
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